(found this post at http://atulskulkarni.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_archive.html)
Last week Pune Times came out with a an article with a flashy head line about this topic. The article was claiming some figures about young India’s perception of “Pre Marital Sex” and their openness to it. I almost let this article pass out of mind until it was yesterday, that I was asked to present my views by two of my close friends about this topic. Though the topic was a little digressed more towards our group and we guys in person. I was caught little off guard!
It all started with a situation where in I am in the US and “Unmarried”, would i go the path to lose my Virginity with a person other than my “would be” life partner? or resist from it and present my self Virgin to my future life partner? The answer was clear to me and I gave it with no ambiguity too booth of them! This was the second path I would take and be patient! But, one of us had some other ideas and was of the opinion that, we might miss something, if we do not live that moment in life and “enjoy” at that very moment in our life.
Later the discussion moved over to another topic, this time one which almost took me by surprise again. “What is a chance that you would get a Virgin wife?” I was not expecting this to be a topic discussed with most us barring me saying “very less chance” and making remarks like what is the guaranty that she has not had affairs earlier!
What took me off was the uncertainty and suspicion they for their future life partners! I mean if people take this stand and start doubting their life partners they would barely be able to live their life with any peace. It is really the emotional bond you establish with your life partner that last for long than the other marital attractions. It is important that you accept your life partner as he/she is and not try to peel off the past every now and then that would make your relationship a one with bruises and bitterness than a one with sweetness and love! To many in the twenties love means/resembles lust! May be in the initial stage of marriage it might be true, to not so some extent, but then that does not really last for long!!(That’s what I have read at least!!!)
If fact yesterday’s discussion reached a stage where I was told it could destroy the entire family (parents and siblings!) if your life partner has had any Pre-Marital Affairs or Pre-Marital Sex!
Now for that matter I would say even if you get a “Virgin Partner” (per say) but due to some reason of your own you go own to have an Extra Marital Affair! Now what? Who is betraying the partner? Who is at fault? This discussion can lead to a very very personal part of someone’s life where only good people to comment are the two partners involved! I would rather like to keep away from this analysis as I feel this is really not needed! The base line is it is not important if you get a Virgin life partner, but it is utmost important if you get a partner who cares for you, loves you for being with him/her, and commits to be with you all the life!
Rather than discussing if I would get a Virgin life partner I would suggest, do think on building a relationship and a bond of love and care with your life partner. That would help a lot in future. Thinking “if I would get a Virgin life partner?” only sends negative Vibes through your mind and sets it up for a wrong and biased analysis of the situation. Hence avoid such thoughts and live happily!